UNC by the Sea

Work Class. Sleep. Repeat. That's my life at this moment. I hate it. I'm dying on the inside. I only enjoy one of my classes the rest are just tolerable. I'm exhausted all the time and have started smoking heavier. Not a pack a day r even close but I smoke 2 or 3 times a day normally as opposed to my previous once or twice a week. I feel like crap and I think it's beginning to show.

Classes are boring and repetitive. Too easy. I don't feel like I''m actually attending school. Jjust showing up. Of course, That doesn't stop me from sleeping late and screwing up my first test in calc 3. Took it today. Not as confidant as I should be. meeh. Other classes are easy and suck. Old testament is static and doesnt seem to be going anywhere. American Nat'l goverment is random with no direction. It's okay only because I enjoy talking politics. My axiomatic systems class I enjoy but we seem to be stalling out and not going anywhere all ready.

Finiacial aid came through and it was a big number. 3400 or so. I was like sweet get a car, place to live, daytime hooker, etc. I got a car. I'm looking for a place. Then the other shoe fell. I lost 2 grand for the most bullshit reason in the world. It's a grant thats for NC students at NC schools. I qualify for it and my award orginally showed it. Here's the bullshit. Since I went to school elsewher freshman year and didnt go last year I'm not eligible. I need to qualify as a "new" grant reciepent having graduated in june 2008 or later. I don't get the money because I didnt get it before. If I had, I would still get it. Bull fuckin shit. Now I cant move out. I need to bad. Last night trying to study for a test proved it. My mom wouldnt stop blabbin about random crap. My step-dad kept bothering me and when I said I needed to study he informed that I thpught I was smart so I shouldn't need to. dumbass. That's why he's 46 and has nothing to show for it. Doesn't even own a car. I'm tempted to email my dad and just flat out ask for money to get an apt. or rent a room or something. I need a place to study at bare minium.

Kelii is still shittin with me. On and Off bull. I'm starting to get angry at her. She needs to relaize that I can't do this kinda crap forever. It's making me insane. But I got class. The good math one at least.

Tune in soon for:

kelli, laura, etc,,aka me not getting laid

Those test results

Stylin and Flyin tips for the ghetto gangsta

It's Been a While

So Its been a while since my last post. Haven't been in a bloggy let my feelings out mood. Maybe it was kelli maybe it was other things. I don't know. Start with the life update. Work is boring and sucky. Nothing has happened there. I am tempted to find a job with better hours though to help with school. School is fine. I'm at UNCW. Classes are semi mediocre. One of my math classes seems good though. Only bullshit was I had to wait till 2 days before classes started to register. bleh. So my schedule could be better.

Love life is shitty if not shittier then ever. I love her still. She's gotten really bad about using me though. Not, that's a lot but ok. She's entered into the realm of I do these things to get what I want. I buy her things, take her to dinner, act as her chauffeur, etc etc. She doesn't do anything but play around with me. A kiss at new years. A overly long hug after a movie night. Enough so that I'm hooked. She likes me liking her I think. It makes her feel like she's wanted and can get whatever she wants. Unfortunately, the main reason she says she doesn't like me is that I'm not a challenge for her. Should I be? She use to tell me she could see it emotionally, but she wasn't attracted to me. Couple of nights ago at work she calls for no reason to chat. Mainly to complain about a guy she dated that she still crushes on. In the conversation she lets slip that she thinks I'm more attractive then him. I wish I knew what her deal was. I think I might be able to get over her soon I hope so.

Tune in soon for:

WTF kelli?

adventures with my webcam, wink wink hint hint

Study tips to keep your grades high this semester