I hate the holidays. All of them. Christmas is at the top of my list currently. Mainly Cause I just went thru more bullshit then a cowboy on the way to market. I worked almost up to the day and even on Christmas day. Some times were enjoyable, most were not.
Monday, I spent the day with kelli. It was magical. We hung out for no apparent reason again. I think she might not have been able to go anywhere or something. idk. We played games together, talked, watched TV and even enjoyed a family dinner with her grandparents. She was close to me, no weirdness. It actually felt like she loved me. I'm half convinced she is and doesn't want to admit. But I know that's not true. Anyway. Monday was good.
Tuesday, was Girls Next Door Xmas. Another wonderful event. Me and three hotties. The waitress at outback called me lucky. Dinner was good then we did presents. I got booze books and porn. As well as nice grab at a pair of titties. They felt wonderful. New years we're all going to a club and I'll get to grind it up. Tuesday was good.
Now onto Christmas Eve, I worked Tuesday night and got off at 7 am. Things started well. I went to my Uncle's for breakfast and to drop off some crab meat. Then to g-ma's for lunch and presents. Lunch sucked no good food. Then to top things off they decided no presents that day. I knew i was working and couldn't make it. I kept quiet though since my mom was already in a super bitchy mood. She creates all the drama in the holidays. Then we went to my other g-ma's. This is the side I like. Dinner was good, finished with baked Alaskan. If you haven't had it, it's like an edible wet dream. Once again presents were delayed, this time to the following morning when I already had a previous brunch engagement. The back home. Step dad and mom still pissed and determined to make Christmas special. They failed.
Christmas Day, Brunch at my step dad's mother's house. It was excellent. Relaxed. Good food. Kelli called me. I was so excited. We chatted for like 15 minutes. I think she misses me. Then I went to other g-ma's for presents. mom calls while I'm there to cause more shit with timing. Luckily I had work. Worked 3-11 bored outta my mind. Worst Christmas ever. Monday was the highlight downhill from there.
Tune in soon for:
New Year means New drunken festivities
Me and Kelli reunited, since she's in love with me and all now.
10 easy to keep resolutions that will change your life.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Night Cutie. I'm drunk
Bored. My sleep schedule is completely fucked up. I stay up half the night. Sleep sometimes. Sucks. I need a set schedule. This random days thing isn't working. Finished all my Xmas shopping technically. Two are still in the mail and may or may not come before Xmas. And my brother is getting a nose ring or something that he picks out. My friend Lesie met me just afterward for dinner. We chatted. She didn't get mad me like she normally does. I make sex jokes, she takes them seriously unfortunately. We had Mexican food, then went back to her place. I wrapped my presents, we watched Santa Claus 2. Maybe I'll end up married to her and that will be every Christmas.
Friday afternoon, Kelli invited me to hang out. Odd. She normally doesn't normally initiate contact like that without a benefit for her. She'll call me if she needs a ride to town or a dog sitter. Or a free dinner and trip to the movies. I just came and hung at her house. She was just sleepy. Lounging around. We watched TV and talked nothing major. A very comfy feel. She gave me the look again. I'm confused. She always tells me nothing will ever happen or when she says something she immediately clarifies how it doesn't mean what I think it should. She gets more confusing everyday.
Tonight, I went over to my Uncle's for dinner. I took them a duck and my Thai aunt cooked it for me. I love going over there. They seem like the realest family possible. Happy house. Problems are things like my 16 yr old cousin maybe having a boyfriend or the 4 yr old throwing pillows. The food was delicious. There was duck, beef, and curry chicken. Watched part of an old movie together. Good times.
Just went home afterward. I kinda felt like doing something but not really. Chilled, watched a movie. Texted kelli. Dumb I know. She was hanging out with a couple guys from HS and cara. The guy are nerdy. She had no interest. Were talking. She tells me she wants to make out with someone. I joke there are plenty of guys there not to mention the voluptuous cara. Kelli has no problem with girls. She's done more with more girls than me. Cara had left and she doesn't like the guys. I sent her a goodnight beautiful text like i do fairly often. I never get a response unless she's drunk normally. She sends back. Night cutie. I'm drunk. That's odd. She isn't that drunk or she wouldn't have added that. I don't want to see to much into it. If I do and I broach the topic regardless of the scenario she'll pull back. I hate it when she decides to make me stop loving her by not talking to me or anything. So, instead I just sit with my thoughts trying to make sense of the world she creates around me.
Tune in soon for:
Christmas is like thanksgiving as in there'll be a family shit show
Girls Next Door Xmas Night
Fun twists to make your gifts stand out under the tree
Friday afternoon, Kelli invited me to hang out. Odd. She normally doesn't normally initiate contact like that without a benefit for her. She'll call me if she needs a ride to town or a dog sitter. Or a free dinner and trip to the movies. I just came and hung at her house. She was just sleepy. Lounging around. We watched TV and talked nothing major. A very comfy feel. She gave me the look again. I'm confused. She always tells me nothing will ever happen or when she says something she immediately clarifies how it doesn't mean what I think it should. She gets more confusing everyday.
Tonight, I went over to my Uncle's for dinner. I took them a duck and my Thai aunt cooked it for me. I love going over there. They seem like the realest family possible. Happy house. Problems are things like my 16 yr old cousin maybe having a boyfriend or the 4 yr old throwing pillows. The food was delicious. There was duck, beef, and curry chicken. Watched part of an old movie together. Good times.
Just went home afterward. I kinda felt like doing something but not really. Chilled, watched a movie. Texted kelli. Dumb I know. She was hanging out with a couple guys from HS and cara. The guy are nerdy. She had no interest. Were talking. She tells me she wants to make out with someone. I joke there are plenty of guys there not to mention the voluptuous cara. Kelli has no problem with girls. She's done more with more girls than me. Cara had left and she doesn't like the guys. I sent her a goodnight beautiful text like i do fairly often. I never get a response unless she's drunk normally. She sends back. Night cutie. I'm drunk. That's odd. She isn't that drunk or she wouldn't have added that. I don't want to see to much into it. If I do and I broach the topic regardless of the scenario she'll pull back. I hate it when she decides to make me stop loving her by not talking to me or anything. So, instead I just sit with my thoughts trying to make sense of the world she creates around me.
Tune in soon for:
Christmas is like thanksgiving as in there'll be a family shit show
Girls Next Door Xmas Night
Fun twists to make your gifts stand out under the tree
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The look in her eyes
Couple of days off work. Nothing exciting happening. I sleep a lot. Avoid my family. Plan to take over the world. Normal everyday stuff really. Most interesting thing I found out is that Santa Claus Live in Finland. That's right. Fuckin' Finland. At the base of a mountain called Korvatunturi in the arctic circle. I know. I've been led to believe my entire life he lived in the north pole but he doesn't. Finnish people hate the Christmas season because every time they try to correct this geographical misnomer people don't believe them and get downright nasty about it. I've had that experience with everyone I've tried to tell.
Kelli is back in town. Me and her got dinner last night. Applebee's. She paid. A possible first. I'm broke till payday and she offered. Plus she needed a ride into town. The reason she needed that ride into town was to go to a friend of mine's party. So, after dinner me and kelli met cara at the coffee shop she's a barista at and then went to cara's house to get ready. Where apparently being a nice guy is odd in this day age. Cara took a shower, walks back into the room to grab her underwear in only a towel. I looked away to be polite. Cara is cute. Extremely fuckable. Hell, I've whacked it to her. Kidding. Then I looked away again when she came back in just underwear. Kelli informed me I should be looking. Cara said she didn't care. look. I'm like I don't want to. Then they preceded to start drinking and have lovely conversation about how horny they are. wondefuckinful. I wasn't drinking since I was their ride.
Got to the party it was ok. Chatted with two extremely drunk guys. Then played a drinking game. I had a plain glass of lemonade. They didn't realize so I looked like the manliest man this side of the governator. Basically just chillin. kelli gave me a couple interesting looks. The type that mean lets get outta her alone. But I know better then to take her seriously. Then the cops showed up. No biggie for me. I'm under 21 and I hadn't been drinking. Can't get busted for supplying or for underage drinking. Everyone had to leave and they poured out the beers. No real trouble for anybody. Pulled kelli out of the closet she hid in. Left with her cara and the HS flame. Dropped them all at cara's house. Where they decided it'd be a good idea to go to another party. This pissed me off because one they'd been drinking. i don't believe in the I'm fine game. No alcohol period. Not to mention they had just gotten let off easy by the 5-0. I told them that it was a bad idea. Today I get an im from kelli. She broke her phone in the drunken reveille. I felt vindicated. If she hadn't gone the phone wouldn't be broken.
Tune in soon for:
Kelli, what else do I ever focus on
The night before Christmas and the inevitable shit show
10 quick fun treats for a holiday party
Kelli is back in town. Me and her got dinner last night. Applebee's. She paid. A possible first. I'm broke till payday and she offered. Plus she needed a ride into town. The reason she needed that ride into town was to go to a friend of mine's party. So, after dinner me and kelli met cara at the coffee shop she's a barista at and then went to cara's house to get ready. Where apparently being a nice guy is odd in this day age. Cara took a shower, walks back into the room to grab her underwear in only a towel. I looked away to be polite. Cara is cute. Extremely fuckable. Hell, I've whacked it to her. Kidding. Then I looked away again when she came back in just underwear. Kelli informed me I should be looking. Cara said she didn't care. look. I'm like I don't want to. Then they preceded to start drinking and have lovely conversation about how horny they are. wondefuckinful. I wasn't drinking since I was their ride.
Got to the party it was ok. Chatted with two extremely drunk guys. Then played a drinking game. I had a plain glass of lemonade. They didn't realize so I looked like the manliest man this side of the governator. Basically just chillin. kelli gave me a couple interesting looks. The type that mean lets get outta her alone. But I know better then to take her seriously. Then the cops showed up. No biggie for me. I'm under 21 and I hadn't been drinking. Can't get busted for supplying or for underage drinking. Everyone had to leave and they poured out the beers. No real trouble for anybody. Pulled kelli out of the closet she hid in. Left with her cara and the HS flame. Dropped them all at cara's house. Where they decided it'd be a good idea to go to another party. This pissed me off because one they'd been drinking. i don't believe in the I'm fine game. No alcohol period. Not to mention they had just gotten let off easy by the 5-0. I told them that it was a bad idea. Today I get an im from kelli. She broke her phone in the drunken reveille. I felt vindicated. If she hadn't gone the phone wouldn't be broken.
Tune in soon for:
Kelli, what else do I ever focus on
The night before Christmas and the inevitable shit show
10 quick fun treats for a holiday party
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
We'll finish the night with drinking,..um dancing and drinking
Same shit different day might as well be the motto of my life. Christmas bullshit is bearing down on me hard. Presents. Family. Bull Fuckin' Shit. Mom is freaking out over money and empty tree. She always does. Apparently if there isn't X amount of dollars worth of Christmas shit under the tree it doesn't count and Jesus gets mad. wonder if he's pissed at the shitty birthday presents he gets seeing as he was born on Xmas and all. I getting everyone stupid stuff. Mostly dinner gift cards especially if I have a friend that can hook me up with some free ones.
Sunday was a long shitty day. I worked all night Saturday and got off 7 am sunday morning. I had to drive hour and a half to pick up my sister. I only did it cause kelli was suppose to be there too. But I left about 9 am so no sleep. Ride was pleasant on the way. Thru the backwoods where I live. Pleasant no major highways. Beautiful North Carolina countryside. Sister is retarded and annoying so not as nice a ride back.
Got a 2 hour nap before heading to my work Xmas party. It was a suck fest. Bad food. Mediocre prizes. Etc etc. I took my old HS flame. She looked good not amazing. I won a Victoria secret gift card which I gave her and a trip to a spa. She wants the spa trip and the way I'm feeling towards kelli at this exact moment she'll probably get it. Afterwards we went to a few places then back to her Apt. She started an awkward conversation though after we left. She wanted to know what guys thought of her sexually. I didn't know how to answer. To be perfectly honest guys don't. At least not desirable ones. Losers like me do but we don't count. I told her this was the moment in the evening that would be marked as the turndown. At her place coupla guys came to hang. All dudes of course. Boring basically. went home and went to sleep.
Texted kelli alot today. She's back home for Xmas. Asked me if I wanted to get dinner tomorrow night. I was like hell yeah. I asked what she wanted to do. Her response " I dunno but I need to get dropped at cara's after" aka she needs a ride to town. At the end of the conversation I called her on it. " would you have asked me to dinner if you didn't need a ride to dinner?". She just said she could find another ride. Then she goes on to make fun of me online later. I wish I didn't love her. She's done nothing for me. I'm her back-up the fail safe. She's my everything.
Tune in soon for:
Christmas, not all it's cracked up to be
Me, kelli, and the bottle make two tonight, kelli would ditch.
Holiday treats for those extra special nights
Sunday was a long shitty day. I worked all night Saturday and got off 7 am sunday morning. I had to drive hour and a half to pick up my sister. I only did it cause kelli was suppose to be there too. But I left about 9 am so no sleep. Ride was pleasant on the way. Thru the backwoods where I live. Pleasant no major highways. Beautiful North Carolina countryside. Sister is retarded and annoying so not as nice a ride back.
Got a 2 hour nap before heading to my work Xmas party. It was a suck fest. Bad food. Mediocre prizes. Etc etc. I took my old HS flame. She looked good not amazing. I won a Victoria secret gift card which I gave her and a trip to a spa. She wants the spa trip and the way I'm feeling towards kelli at this exact moment she'll probably get it. Afterwards we went to a few places then back to her Apt. She started an awkward conversation though after we left. She wanted to know what guys thought of her sexually. I didn't know how to answer. To be perfectly honest guys don't. At least not desirable ones. Losers like me do but we don't count. I told her this was the moment in the evening that would be marked as the turndown. At her place coupla guys came to hang. All dudes of course. Boring basically. went home and went to sleep.
Texted kelli alot today. She's back home for Xmas. Asked me if I wanted to get dinner tomorrow night. I was like hell yeah. I asked what she wanted to do. Her response " I dunno but I need to get dropped at cara's after" aka she needs a ride to town. At the end of the conversation I called her on it. " would you have asked me to dinner if you didn't need a ride to dinner?". She just said she could find another ride. Then she goes on to make fun of me online later. I wish I didn't love her. She's done nothing for me. I'm her back-up the fail safe. She's my everything.
Tune in soon for:
Christmas, not all it's cracked up to be
Me, kelli, and the bottle make two tonight, kelli would ditch.
Holiday treats for those extra special nights
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Gifts
Last coupla days haven't been the best. I've barely spoke to kelli at all until today. Two text message conversations. I know it's wonderful. She told me yesterday that the reason she hasn't been talking to me is to " distance" herself from me. Thanks for the heads up though she didn't see the need to include an explanation. Best part, she still comments me online with cutsie things and even sends me a picture of her final art assignment. probally cause I'm the only friend who wouldnt brush her off with a it looks good. Something is gonna give soon. I knew her last exam was this morning so I sent her a good luck text she responded afterward. Tell me about her get drunk plans etc etc. If I'm lucky she'll call me tonight thanks to the liberating effect of alcohol. Normal BS which will conclude with a she wishes she liked me load to swallow. Which means I'll be happy and sad at the same time.
The worst part of the whole text thing was it took place while I was at the doctors office with my mom. I hate going there. I get a practically irresistible urge to start knocking heads together. Sitting in the lobby stressed over my mom was not an ideal place to " talk" to kelli about her feelings towards me. I need to move out soon. The walls of my sanity are being breached little by little each day as home life wears me down. I don't feel relaxed or anything. I just look forward to my next chance to get away. That's the best thing about work, It allows me to sleep through most of the normal interaction time. Did the math though. I cant move out without a series financial influx, which I don't see as likely. It's gonna be a while.
Work xmas party is looming up soon. I'm taking my old HS flame. Maybe something will get started there. Something besides kelli. Alcohol, the night off, anything can happen. After that, Christmas dinner and gifts with a couple close friends. Then the family bullshit will begin. I went present shopping. Kelli, I've known for months. Juno hamburger phone. I'll get something dumb back from her. I'm probably gonna get her something else too just to make sure she feels special. Why do I set myself up like this? Another friend is getting two books, A real present in my opinion. One on astrology ( she loves it anyway) and one that's a cultural commentary, Hilarious. I've read it before.
I have two other main friends to shop for. One is getting office memorabilia, not really sure what yet. It's our favorite show. The other is getting a medium playboy tote bag. Me, her and two other friends were the girls next door and Hugh. kinda. I never fucked them. Me and her aren't as close as we use to be. When I went to check out the sales girl tried to up sell me to a bigger one. I made a joke I always do. I said reasonable gift at a reasonable price. As in I wasn't spending 30 to 40 dollars on something for her. The sales clerk was like there's a contest yadda yadda yadda. She admitted I probably didn't care. Didn't know her etc. I told her joking we don hang out. she then offered too. If I'd change just a little I probably could find a perfectly adequate girl. Multiple clerks and their types have said similar things trying to meet outside of normal cashier cashee terms. I normally avoid the stores afterward. Maybe soon I'll find a girl and give up the one that I'm waiting for.
Tune in soon for:
The promised office Christmas party, debauchery at it's finest
Life sucks part: 5,562,907
Travel deals to get you to your families for half the price over the holidays.
The worst part of the whole text thing was it took place while I was at the doctors office with my mom. I hate going there. I get a practically irresistible urge to start knocking heads together. Sitting in the lobby stressed over my mom was not an ideal place to " talk" to kelli about her feelings towards me. I need to move out soon. The walls of my sanity are being breached little by little each day as home life wears me down. I don't feel relaxed or anything. I just look forward to my next chance to get away. That's the best thing about work, It allows me to sleep through most of the normal interaction time. Did the math though. I cant move out without a series financial influx, which I don't see as likely. It's gonna be a while.
Work xmas party is looming up soon. I'm taking my old HS flame. Maybe something will get started there. Something besides kelli. Alcohol, the night off, anything can happen. After that, Christmas dinner and gifts with a couple close friends. Then the family bullshit will begin. I went present shopping. Kelli, I've known for months. Juno hamburger phone. I'll get something dumb back from her. I'm probably gonna get her something else too just to make sure she feels special. Why do I set myself up like this? Another friend is getting two books, A real present in my opinion. One on astrology ( she loves it anyway) and one that's a cultural commentary, Hilarious. I've read it before.
I have two other main friends to shop for. One is getting office memorabilia, not really sure what yet. It's our favorite show. The other is getting a medium playboy tote bag. Me, her and two other friends were the girls next door and Hugh. kinda. I never fucked them. Me and her aren't as close as we use to be. When I went to check out the sales girl tried to up sell me to a bigger one. I made a joke I always do. I said reasonable gift at a reasonable price. As in I wasn't spending 30 to 40 dollars on something for her. The sales clerk was like there's a contest yadda yadda yadda. She admitted I probably didn't care. Didn't know her etc. I told her joking we don hang out. she then offered too. If I'd change just a little I probably could find a perfectly adequate girl. Multiple clerks and their types have said similar things trying to meet outside of normal cashier cashee terms. I normally avoid the stores afterward. Maybe soon I'll find a girl and give up the one that I'm waiting for.
Tune in soon for:
The promised office Christmas party, debauchery at it's finest
Life sucks part: 5,562,907
Travel deals to get you to your families for half the price over the holidays.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Keep Kicking
So I'm in the middle of talking to kelli via myspace messages of all things. I keep glancing at my blackberry, waiting for the little light to go off telling me she sent something new. She's been strange the last couple of days. Distant. Haven't talked to her period. I've been worried that something happened maybe something did. About a half hour ago out of nowhere she sends me a note saying to stop loving her, that it will never happen. I'm deluding myself.
My first thought was where did this come from. Nothing has changed recently. I know she's right. Hell, This kinda shit proves it. It hurts me to the core. After the initial hey what's this moment, I wanted to cry. I didn't. Now, I want to know why she felt the need to send it. Am I that bad? Is knowing that I love her eating away at her at night? Night was ok. Now it's super shitty.
Tune in soon for:
Whatever else kelli wants to say to confuse, piss me off, or make me happy.
A drunken night with my co-workers and a beautiful blonde woman
10 tips to maximize your holiday budget
My first thought was where did this come from. Nothing has changed recently. I know she's right. Hell, This kinda shit proves it. It hurts me to the core. After the initial hey what's this moment, I wanted to cry. I didn't. Now, I want to know why she felt the need to send it. Am I that bad? Is knowing that I love her eating away at her at night? Night was ok. Now it's super shitty.
Tune in soon for:
Whatever else kelli wants to say to confuse, piss me off, or make me happy.
A drunken night with my co-workers and a beautiful blonde woman
10 tips to maximize your holiday budget
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Locked and Loaded
Holy fuck I'm pissed today and not even for a good reason. I don't know why. Just one of those days. Had to take my mom to the doctor this morning. The entire ride there I was pissed off. People suck at driving. I wish I owned a large caliber hand held weapon so that I could eliminate shitty drivers. Assholes changing lanes with no signals, driving to slow. driving to fast. Not using headlights in the rain. And my biggest pet peeve. tying up traffic for a god-forsaken parking space. Park at the back and walk. Not only do you waste 10 minutes of your time, but you waste 10 of mine waiting on some old lady to back out of space so you don't have to walk an extra minute.
Then in the doctors office, multiple fucktards had their cell phones on and answered them in the office. Number one put it on vibrate, or flashy light or telepathic mode. whatever. Don't leave the ringer on high so everyone can enjoy the included cell version of Beethoven's 5th. Number two, if it rings, don't answer. Walk outside, read the caller id and go, hmm this call could wait. Don't talk on it for 10 fuckin minutes including telling the person on the other end they need to speak up because you cant hear over the noise of the lobby.
Other then that life is ok. I've been sleeping better which is nice and been much more relaxed the last couple of days. Things are chill with kelli. Been texting and talking some. It's nice to have her in my life. She makes me happy and as for the rest I don't care. I still have my dreams and delusions. Maybe someday, I'll find a girl that makes me feel the same way she does.
Had dinner with a good friend last night. I haven't seen steph in a while. She was off the radar all weekend. I understand, sometimes I like to just be alone too. She's an extremely nice girl. I describe her as the nicest girl I know. In high school, I had a huge crush on her. She used to sit in the lunch room in tenth grade and wink at me. I am tempted to explore our friendship and see if there is something more. I probably won't. I hate the idea of turning a friendship awkward by trying something. Plus she's well aware of how I feel about kelli. Wouldn't be a good start. I'll meet girls at school net semester. Hopefully, I'll find someone or at the very least kelli will leave my mind. To be honest, I'm still waiting on her to call me and say she loves me.
Tune is soon for
A new academic year, let the math flow
Work xmas party with a beautiful girl on my arm what could go wrong?
How to find the perfect christmas tree
Then in the doctors office, multiple fucktards had their cell phones on and answered them in the office. Number one put it on vibrate, or flashy light or telepathic mode. whatever. Don't leave the ringer on high so everyone can enjoy the included cell version of Beethoven's 5th. Number two, if it rings, don't answer. Walk outside, read the caller id and go, hmm this call could wait. Don't talk on it for 10 fuckin minutes including telling the person on the other end they need to speak up because you cant hear over the noise of the lobby.
Other then that life is ok. I've been sleeping better which is nice and been much more relaxed the last couple of days. Things are chill with kelli. Been texting and talking some. It's nice to have her in my life. She makes me happy and as for the rest I don't care. I still have my dreams and delusions. Maybe someday, I'll find a girl that makes me feel the same way she does.
Had dinner with a good friend last night. I haven't seen steph in a while. She was off the radar all weekend. I understand, sometimes I like to just be alone too. She's an extremely nice girl. I describe her as the nicest girl I know. In high school, I had a huge crush on her. She used to sit in the lunch room in tenth grade and wink at me. I am tempted to explore our friendship and see if there is something more. I probably won't. I hate the idea of turning a friendship awkward by trying something. Plus she's well aware of how I feel about kelli. Wouldn't be a good start. I'll meet girls at school net semester. Hopefully, I'll find someone or at the very least kelli will leave my mind. To be honest, I'm still waiting on her to call me and say she loves me.
Tune is soon for
A new academic year, let the math flow
Work xmas party with a beautiful girl on my arm what could go wrong?
How to find the perfect christmas tree
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